Forget a Name?
You're just about to introduce a colleague to your client and you forget the colleague's name. What do you do? Since the general rule of etiquette requires that introductions always be made, try the following.

Look at the person whose name you forgot and say, "Please help me out. Your name just slipped my mind."

Gracious people will immediately offer their names. Then continue the introduction as if nothing unusual happened.

When we ask others for help, they generally come forth. That's why you want to start with the help statement.

Not only do we want to avoid embarrassing situations, faux pas and social misunderstanding, but as socially savvy people, we also want to learn how to recover with grace and style.

The Magic of Manners!
Companies that are service-oriented know manners count. It's reflected in the way employees treat each other and the way they treat customers. Most believe that it's impossible to have good customer relations unless you have good employee relations. Courteous, respectful behavior is part of the corporate culture.

Here are some reminders of behaviors expected of service-oriented personnel.

Greeting people - make eye contact, smile, offer your hand for a handshake (always while standing).

Getting the name right - don't be too quick to call people by their first name upon first meeting them. If not sure, err on the side of formality and use an honorific (Ms., Mr., Dr.). It's always respectful and if the person prefers, they will ask you call them by their first name. And if you forgot the name, apologize then ask for their name.

Introductions - always make them, regardless of whether or not people have met before. It jogs people's memories as to names, positions and companies.

Presenting business cards - handle them respectfully. Present your card facing the person. Take theirs, read it thoroughly, place it on the desk in front of you (for reference or in the order people are seated), or carefully place it in your pocket or notebook.

Diversity issues - always be respectful of the differences: culture, heritage, religion, age, gender, size, and disabilities. Treat others as they would like to be treated...with dignity and respect.

Thank you notes - use notes frequently to thank a prospective customer for their time, a colleague for advise given, a client for a referral, or to acknowledge the contribution of a team member. It's a quick and easy way to show your gracious side. Sending it by snail mail is still a powerful tool when thanking a customer for their business.

E-mail - keep the message short and use attachments for the lengthier items. Only write what you wouldn't mind the rest of the world seeing. Use proper grammar and punctuation. It's a reflection of your professionalism.

Voice-mail - make your outgoing message a positive statement. Let people know when you will be there (instead of when you're not there) and when you'll be answering your messages. When leaving a message, always state your full name, full phone number and the reason for the call. Keep your tone of voice pleasant and unrushed.

Seating - always invite your guest (client, associate, vendor) to take a seat. Indicate verbally or with a gesture which seat they should take. This puts others at ease because it can be very confusing, especially in conference rooms, as to which seat is best for the upcoming discussion. A gracious host always has seating thought out ahead of time.

Table manners - because we all eat everyday, there's no excuse for poor table manners. Consider them the gift you give those with whom you dine. Bad table manners are a huge turn-off.

Meetings - if running one, start on time, end on time. Always have an objective in mind, use agendas, and document action items, who will be responsible and by when. If attending a meeting, always come prepared. Have paper, pencil, review the agenda, do any necessary preparation, offer suggestions and solutions along with problems and obstacles.

Courtesies - make them common! Say "Thank you," "Excuse me," "Please," "Is this a good time?," "May I ...?,"

Praise others - many studies document the fact that people respond positively to praise. Workplace studies show that employees increase productivity with praise. Catch people doing something right, and let them know.

Cubicle Courtesies
Today many offices are opting for open spaces. Not only are cubicles common, but open and shared office space can be found in many corporate buildings today. One of the biggest frustrations working in such an environment is the lack of privacy. Not only do associates and coworkers stop by whenever they want, but conversations can be overheard and a myriad of distractions exist. In order for people to be productive in these open environments, it's important to observe some courtesies and exhibit respectful behaviors. The following list will help establish some office cubicle and shared space protocol.

• Keep your voice down. Be aware of how it projects, especially when laughing.
• Don't enter someone's cubicle or stop to chat unless invited to do so.
• Never take something from someone's cubicle or desk without asking first.
• Be respectful of those people passing your desk. Don't assume they have time to chat.
• If you don't want to be interrupted, don't make eye contact with those passing your desk.
• Respect other's work time and flow of concentration. If they look deep in thought, they probably are.
• If the person is on the phone, do not interrupt.
• Confidential information should not be discussed in an open setting. Move to one of the meeting rooms.
• Avoid using speaker phones.
• Do not read what is on someone else's desk or computer screen.
• Reduce clutter in your desk area or cubicle.
• Don't leave food and trash at your desk.
• Keep eating and snacking at your desk to a minimum. And avoid foods that smell up the office.
• Return items to their proper place after using them.
• Replace immediately anything you use up (paper, staples, etc.).
• Limit personal calls, preferably placing them on breaks or at lunch.

Crossing Cultures
The calls come in: Do I need to bow when a Japanese client comes into our offices? When taking telephone messages, I don't understand the person's name because of the heavy accent. How should I handle this? Should I eat continental style when dining with Europeans? Which type of gift is appropriate for our Korean trading partner? These are just a few of the concerns that surface when we come in contact with people from other countries and cultures. More business professionals today are finding that knowledge of international etiquette is critical to building long-term positive relationships with clients, trading partners, and others from abroad. Sensitivity to cultural differences and an awareness of the appropriate etiquette and protocol are necessary business skills in order to remain competitive. Competence in the international marketplace is defined in terms of cultural savvy as well as business skills. When on your turf, you want to make visitors feel comfortable and treat them as the special guests that they are. Keep the following in mind.

• Do your homework ahead of time.
• Arrange to have the guests picked up at the airport.
• Determine if gifts are warranted. If so, have them beautifully wrapped.
• Have plenty of business cards on hand.
• Pay attention to and note rank and hierarchy.
• Clearly understand how to address the person. Err on the side of formality.
• Make proper introductions.
• Plan seating arrangements to show regard for hierarchy and rank.
• Serve coffee and tea in china or ceramic cups, never paper or styrofoam.
• Display good table manners so you won't offend others.
• Locate interpreters in case they are needed.
• Arrange for sightseeing, entertainment, and sporting events if appropriate.
• Never criticize the customs, religion, or the politics of a guest or his/her country.
• Be a gracious host at all times.

12 Common Dining Mistakes
Today more business is done while dining than ever before. Sales can be lost and careers short- circuited when poor table manners are displayed. Remember, your table manners are a gift you give those with whom you dine. They also indicate whether or not you know how to show respect for others. The following are the most common mistakes noted while dining.

1. Misusing silverware
   Gripping the fork and knife incorrectly is the most obvious and common faux pas. Knives are meant to cut, not saw. The fork and knife should never teeter half off the plate onto the table. Don't wave your silverware in the air while talking. Silverware placed at the top of the plate is for dessert. Place only the silverware that you have used on the plate when finished.
2. Using the wrong butter plate
   There's a simple rule to remember: liquids to the right, solids to the left. Your butter plate will be near your fork, not your knife.
3. Buttering an entire roll
   Bread and rolls are meant to be torn, not cut. A large roll would be torn in half first, then a smaller piece can be torn off, buttered and eaten. Toast is the exception. The entire piece can be buttered at once.
4. Improper use of the napkin
   The napkin comes off the table only after everyone is seated. It is used to dab the lips, not scrub the face. If leaving the table temporarily mid-meal, place the napkin on your chair. At the end of the meal, place it on the table next to your plate, never on the plate, however.
5. Eating too fast or too slow
   Pacing is important when dining with others. Slow down if you notice you're faster than everyone else. Speed up or leave some food if you're a slow eater. You should never leave your guest to dine alone, which happens if you're finished way ahead of your guest.
6. Showing food in mouth
   This happens when you've taken too big of a bite and then chew with your mouth open, or continue to talk. This is very unappetizing for others to observe. Small bites are necessary when trying to converse while eating.
7. Seasoning food before tasting
   Without tasting your food, how would you know it really needs seasoning? This can be seen as an insult to the chef and host. It also can indicate that you jump to conclusions.
8. Washing food down with liquids
   The mouth should be cleared of food before beverages are sipped. It's a good habit to get into, especially with wine. Wine is meant to cleanse the palate and its taste can't fully be appreciated with food still in the mouth.
9. Passing food incorrectly
   The salt is always passed with the pepper. Anything with a handle, such as the creamer, is passed so the handle is facing the person receiving the item. This is why the correct way to pass food the first time around is to the right=counterclockwise.
10. Leaving lipstick marks
    Lipstick should be well blotted so not to leave marks on cups and glasses. It's a real turnoff.
11. Grooming at the table
    This is another turnoff. Don't touch your hair or apply makeup while at the table. And certainly don't pick your teeth at the table. Excuse yourself from the table to remove something from your teeth...or to apply makeup.
12. Poor posture
    Slumping, leaning and protruding elbows don't send a positive message. Sit up straight, don't lean on your elbows or forearms, don't rock in your chair, and keep your elbows close to your side.

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