What does it take to have a workshop that includes a working meal?
To teach table manners and dining skills over lunch, a minimum of 2 hours is needed. The meal is planned around foods that are difficult to eat or ones that present problems of some kind. The table setting is more formal so that participants can learn to navigate confidently at formal meals, as well as informal ones.

Will the subject matter be appropriate for managers as well as partners?
While many executives consider themselves socially savvy, they often find the workshop to be a great reminder of the impact of subtle and not-so-subtle behaviors on interpersonal relationships. It gives everyone a chance to review and pick up some tips for use in an ever-changing, multi-cultural workplace. Partners are just as likely to have developed less than positive habits and become much too casual in their approach to client relations. They need to be good role models and exhibit the behaviors that they want their firm to be known for. Because someone is skilled in the technical aspect of their job doesn't mean they are equally skilled in the "people" part of their job.

How can this subject help our team?
With intense competition and job insecurity, to succeed in business a person can't do just what comes naturally...they must do what's right. Many professionals are finding that an increased understanding of the "rules" of etiquette and the tenets of protocol, and exhibiting respectful behavior result in:

• better communication and quality relationships;
• enhanced performance and profits;
• help in building a wide network of business relationships;
• avoidance of costly blunders in social and business situations;
• enhanced negotiations and business dealing;
• help with becoming a more informed and sensitive host to others;
• help with becoming a more informed and sensitive guest when on other's turf or in another's country;
• self-confidence when dealing with a diverse group of people and cultures.

Is it okay to flip your cup over if you don't want any coffee at a luncheon?
No! We've become banquet trained and are developing some bad habits because of it. Never turn your coffee cup upside down (let the server do it at the banquet), and never flip a wine glass over because you don't want any wine. You don't want to look crass. The habit of doing so could eventually embarrass you when you inadvertently chip or break more delicate cups and glasses. If you don't want the beverage offered, indicate so by placing your hand or fingers over the glass when the server offers the beverage. If for some reason, they pour the beverage, simply don't drink it.

Who goes through the door first...me or my client?
Doors, both fixed and revolving can create confusion for many people today. Who opens the door? for whom? Should you wait for the revolving door to stop? Who goes first? The confusion is also related to social manners versus business manners. Door protocol is really a matter of thinking ahead and using common sense. Let's review the appropriate behaviors.

In business settings: Here, deference is based on hierarchy, position, rank and status, not necessarily gender or age.

• When hierarchy is an important part of your corporate culture, the younger executive would open and hold the door for the very senior ones.
• A host opens the door for a guest/client/customer.
• A host would enter the revolving door first, gently pushing and meeting the guest at the other side.
• If you get to a door first, open it. This isn't the time to throw your rank around. If someone is coming through behind you, hold the door for that person.
• If the door swings toward you, open the door and let the other person pass through first. If it swings away, go through first and then hold the door for the person following.
• Open and hold the door for people with their arms full and those with disabilities and needing assistance.
• If any of these courtesies are extended to you, say "thank you".

• If on a date, it's still appropriate for the man to open the door for a woman.
• As a woman, if you don't appreciate this gesture of courtesy, don't scowl or verbally demean the man for his behavior. Graciously show respect for their preferences.
• The man would go through the revolving door first, pushing slowly (most revolving doors are air tight and hard to start in motion), and wait on the other side.
• A guest would defer to the host/hostess.
• Younger people open and hold doors for older people.

When, exactly, does the napkin come off the table?
This confuses many diners. Let me share some tips on napkin etiquette so you won't embarrass yourself.

Only after everyone is seated at your table should you take the napkin from the table. This way everyone has the chance to enjoy the beauty of the full table setting. Remember, it's about dining, not just eating.

When placed on your lap, the fold should be near your waist. That way it won't unfold as you bring it to your lips. The napkin is used to blot your mouth and lips, not wipe them. You blot before taking a sip of beverage in order to eliminate the possibility of leaving greasy marks on your cup or glass.

If you leave the table mid-meal for some reason, the napkin should be placed on the chair - the seat, arm or back. This signals the serving staff that you'll be back.

The napkin may be used to block a sneeze if you can't get to your tissues or handkerchief in time. Never, never, however, blow your nose into your napkin. For that, excuse yourself from the table and then, use tissues.

At the end of the meal, the napkin goes back on the table only when everyone is finished and ready to depart. You don't need to re-fold the napkin completely. Rather place it, partially folded, on the table to the left of your plate. Remember that a napkin should never be placed on a dirty plate...even if it's a paper napkin. After all, you don't want to establish a negative habit.

I write notes frequently on our company informals and am confused as to how to correctly place the card in the envelope.
It is important to pay attention to the etiquette involved with putting cards into their envelopes. There is a correct way to do it. You want it to correctly face the person who's opening the envelope so the message can be read without turning the card several times. To do so:

1. Hold the envelope in your left hand, with the flap side facing you.
2. If the card has a fold at the top, place it in the envelope with the front facing the back of the envelope and the fold at the top.
3. If the card folds on the left, the folded side goes in first with the front of the card facing the back of the envelope, right side up.

Is it really necessary to join dozens of organizations for networking when time is a scarcity?
No, but you do want to be astute as to where you spend your time and with whom.

Today, your value in the marketplace will be measured by the number of people you know and who know you favorably. Your ability to build strong relationships and effectively manage these networks of people can both make your career and enable you to assure the success of your organization.

The basic objectives of personal marketing are:

• to create visibility,
• to generate name recognition,
• to build positive relationships,
• to expand contacts, resources,
• to create needs and desires in terms of target markets,
• to enhance career and business opportunities.

• Join organizations.
• Be an active member.
• Volunteer on non-profit boards, committees.
• Sit with new people.
• Mingle at every opportunity.
• Build alliances.
• Develop a sincere interest in others.
• Have the attitude of an explorer.

Is there a better way to introduce myself and what I do, than give my name and title?
Verbal introductions - those explaining your professional expertise to a potential client, or to anyone for that matter - are challenging. How do you succinctly and persuasively tell someone what you have to offer? How do you make yourself memorable? Try this.

State your benefit first. Make a simple sound bite using one key benefit, one label (your title or profession), and one target market. It's best to have multiple introductions, rather than trying to put all your benefits or target markets into one introduction.

Write out several different introductions to use with different audiences and carry them with you to review beforehand.

For example, here's an effective benefits-oriented introduction: "I help food companies increase sales by finding new uses for their products." Food companies is the target market, and increased sales is the benefit. A label is not even needed.

Another example: "I help small to mid-size companies grow profitably. I'm a CPA with the accounting firm of Freidig, Forgetful and Fooey."

A good self-introduction is meant to engage others, not set the stage for an immediate sale.

Are there email guidelines that I can share with my office staff?
The e-mails a person sends are a reflection of their professionalism. Appropriate business behavior suggests that office e-mail follow a certain protocol.

At the office, don't use email to:

• dress down a person
• deliver bad news
• fire someone
• replace a condolence note
• for controversial information
• embarrassing or harmful information
• perpetuate a rumor
• break a date
• send chain mail or irrelevant jokes
• offer a promotion, raise or award
• to call in sick

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